Not Watching the Olympics at Work? Try Our Time Wasters

Challenger, Gray & Christmas says good Americans should spend more and stay later at work.

Really.

That’s at least how we, in our own twisted way, read a press release this week from the global outplacement firm. Monday morning, after a full weekend of Olympics watching, CG&C sent out a note saying “many fans who want to watch live events will do so from their work desks.” You know what that means, accounting will be watching live ping pong instead of getting to month-end closing.

Not to worry, soothes CEO John Challenger, “In reality, it will have no measurable impact on the overall economy.” Why so, you wonder? “At the end of the day, productivity will be no worse for wear, as employees who slacked off during the workday, stay later to complete their projects or take work home…”

Los Angeles councilmembers evidently didn’t agree with Mr. Challenger, harrumphing that “City employees aren’t paid to watch the Olympics.”

If those slackers really want to step up to help the economy, they’ll do what you should be doing: SPEND MONEY WILDLY. “Cautious consumers may hurt the tenuous recovery,” the CG&C press release goes on to say. “Hiring going forward will, in large part, be defined by the demand of consumers,”says CEO Challenger.

Are Cyborgs Covered by The ADA?

How’s that JO coming for a Mandarin speaking, logistics manager, with a 6 Sigma certification, who can pitch softball with an ERA under 3.00 and a batting average of at least .333? Not so good, huh? Wait a few years, though, and you should be able to order just what you want from Cyborgs Are Us.

Two medical students with hacker cred told a Def Con audience that cyborgs to order is no longer the stuff of mere sci fi. VentureBeat’s Dean Takahashi, who attended the annual gathering of hackers, hacking enthusiasts, and no doubt the usual assortment of computer security recruiters, said the pair reported, “The day is not so distant when we will be able to “mod” our organic bodies with inorganic mechanical and electronic materials that enhance our augment our basic abilities.”

It puts a whole new spin on ‘job order.’

At Least No Donuts

We’re not so sure the guerrilla hit to New York’s transit cop recruiting campaign is gonna be so bad for business.

Street artist Jayshells (dunno if that’s a first, last, or made-up name) messed with the MTA’s recruiting posters to come up with a series picturing cops in less than flattering poses.

That’s how the city’s Bowery Boogie sees it. We though were kinda drawn to a job where you get to ride Segways in the subways, sleep on the clock, and you have backup when busting a pug on the platform. No idea exactly what’s going on in the fourth poster, unless it’s a vigorous Heimlich.

So, yes. we’re up to the challenge.