My ego defenses are strong enough that I almost immediately laughed about this incident but there was enough sting to make me very appreciative that I almost never do what I am about to describe anymore because I don't have to. I do know that bragging about strong ego defenses is dangerous and could make me look even dumber to those who know more about that than I do.

     Anyhow, a past candidate who is now a client contact passed me a lead the other day and offered to get me a contact there because he thought our practice would suit their needs. I said , 'no let me try going through 'the front door'. I have not done that in a long time.' My clients are all engaged and I have relationships with hiring managers who are also usually top management since they are mostly small companies. I also work well with their HR/Staffing people. Every single current engaged client is from a referral to a manager. Not one of them is from a cold call to HR.

      My heart now goes out to anyone who regularly hears "Please do tell me about what you do...Oh we'd never pay an up-front fee...I was in your business so I know everything you are saying... I have to run to a meeting...send me your information and we'll call you..."  I heard all of that while barely saying anything with all the humility I could muster during the dotted parts.

     My evil ego defenses now demand that I network into her CEO or CTO and have him tell her what I do and how she'll do it. Humility be damned...or at least postponed for a minute...