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Not Just a Spanking but a Hard Spanking

by
John Zappe and Todd Raphael
Dec 7, 2012, 5:09 am ET

Guessing game time: What’s the #1 failure for the year in the recruiting world?

Oh, so many choices for the top (or should that be the bottom?) spot. The irreverent Jason Buss offers his list of seven “Recruiting Fails for 2012,” which includes those shiny new objects, Pinterest (for recruiting? Oh, come on. Did you really believe you could use it to source anything but recipes, cutsey animal pictures, and home decorating ideas?) and BranchOut.

One (that would be us) could quibble over the inclusion of mobile recruiting, and the exclusion of Monster and its slow-motion implosion. And argue about whether the Facebook job board disaster is really worthy of the #1 spot. But you (that’s you, and  us, too) have to give Jason credit for the absolute best recruiting quote of the year. Commenting on the Facebook job board, Jason credits this to an anonymous recruiting leader:

The 5 organizations behind one of the biggest recruiting fails in the past 5 years should be spanked, and spanked hard.

Really Great Discrimination

In case Randy Goldberg’s job at Hyatt falls through, we have an idea for him. The Homewood Suites by Hilton Springfield is constructing a Virginia hotel, hiring 35 associates in the Washington, D.C. ‘burbs, and, it’ll discriminate. Legally.

Yes, it’ll give extra consideration to applicants with the initials “RG” — like Richard Gere, Rudy Guiliani, and so on (not that either of those two want to work for $10-16 an hour). People with a III after their name also get bonus points (attention Thurston Howell).

Washington Redskins football fans will get the “RG” and III references and may know what’s going on here. You see, Northern Virginia is basically Redskin football country, and the hotel’s gimmick is a show of support for the quarterback who is taking the Virginia-Maryland-D.C. area and arguably “taking the country by storm.” The hotel will open next month and is hiring front desk staff, night auditors, front desk supervisor, housekeepers, housekeeping inspectors, laundry attendants, cooks, bussers, bartenders, and maintenance folks. Employees get health care coverage, a 401(k) match, and free hotel stays.

Meow Pix

Here’s a tip if you want your recruiting video to go viral: Include a cat.

“They’re the Internet’s most enduring draw and always will be,” insists MSN, which has a gallery of cats made famous when their meow-ug shots got posted online.

You think I’m kidding about including kitty in your viddy? Of course you do. But hey, do your recruiting posts get 108 comments — in one day? And not even Dr. John Sullivan gets as many Facebook shares (12,700 in 24 hours).

This article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to offer specific legal advice. You should consult your legal counsel regarding any threatened or pending litigation.

  1. Robert Dromgoole

    Ugh I hate cats. Besides, you’re targeting a clearly twisted candidate pool who like and share cat photos. I’ll pass. Cats! Nope. ;-)

  2. Keith Halperin

    Thanks, Todd and John. Re the “Spanking” as I said over there re 2012 Fails:

    Let me add a few more, not necessarily 2012 specific, but (unfortunately) rather timeless:

    1) Anyone who talks about “the war for talent”. They’re really talking about “the war for your recruiting budget” which THEY want to win.

    2) Anyone who feels most companies should emulate what rich “employers of choice” do to hire. A somewhat better policy might be to carefully study what these companies do, and do the opposite.

    3) Companies that believe it to going to an expensive recruiting/sourcing convention or hiring a well-heeled and famous recruiting consultant will get you better results than asking what your own people (who actually do the recruiting and sourcing) need and suggest, and then implementing what we say.

    4) Founders, CXOs, and sr. executives who wouldn’t dream of deciding legal or highly-specialized financial matters based on their own information, but think they know the best ways to hire.

    5) Hiring managers (at any level) who think that there is a link between academic attendance/GPA and the ability to do a job well in *most fields. (If YOU think there is, show me the formal, peer-reviewed studies that say so.)

    Later Cruiters,

    Keith

    *I believe there IS a small correlation for attorneys.

  3. Lior Shamir

    Film corporate doing Gangnam Style. Success guaranteed.

  4. Job Search Tools–Waste of Time or Worthwhile? « asuccessfulcareer

    [...] just read a “roundup” item on ERE.net by John Zappe and Todd Raphael, called “Not Just a Spanking but a Hard Spanking,” that references a post on Talent HQ by Jason Buss, titled “The Top 7 Recruit Fails of [...]

  5. Duane Hill

    In deference to the legion of Monty Python fans, I will go ahead and post the obvious:

    ” . . . and then spank me!” – Zoot of Castle Anthrax.

    You know you were thinking it . . .

    Keith – Excellent comment, spot on for on-going recruiting fails.

    See ya,

    Duane

  6. Randy Goldberg

    How do I get mentioned in an article with a main title that includes “Spanked Hard” and a sub heading of “Really Great Discrimination”? This should have some interesting effects on my SEO results. :-)

  7. Angela Guimond

    Poor Randy.

    SEO Results: only hiring spankable people.

  8. Keith Halperin

    @ Duane: thank you.
    @ Angela: are unspankable people a protected hiring category?
    If so, how do you add that in your ATS to be OFCCP compliant?
    @ Everybody: Here’s a new job tile for us in the spirit of “Product Evangelist” and “Director of Insight”:
    “*Recruiting Dominatrix”.

    Keith

    *maybe “”Dominating Recruitrix”?

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