Although i find all posting extremely valuable, I rarely post responses., however it was timley whem i read your post, since i had a scenerio just happen to me today with this regard.

I completely agree with your philosphy and live, eat breath and sleep in it daily. With many years of executive recruiting under my belt, i feel that the building the candidate trust is probably the most critical ingredient for making a successful placement. It’s good to know that others share the same common interest in the candidates as well as the client companies.

Thanks so much for sharing,

When the corporation recruiters fail to create this relationship of trust……..the odds of uncertainly increase.

It is so important to understand what is important to the potential employee in order to create legimate benefits to job changes otherwise……there are simply no reasons to change the status quo……. What are the movating factors that will influence you to come on board with this company? What are the three most important things right now in your life? What are the 3 most important things right now in your career? What would you like to accomplish in your career in 5 years?

This issue should address the fact that in some cases the corporations are employing inexperienced recruiters who simply do not understand that the hiring process is a two-way street.

There is also the issue that desirable potential employees are talking to competitors and other corporations who may offer greater career opportunities and benefits than your company that is focussed on the sole needs of the corporation and not on the individual. This is the problem and as a result….the miscommunication that simply drives the candidate to the competition.

What I’d like to offer is how to probe the underlying ‘reasons’ for the candidate backing away or out because ‘Something happened’.

The dance steps that constitute backing away from an offer, in doubt, or just flat opting out of an emerging opportunity is usually, i have found, based on an emotional trigger. I’m speaking specifically outside the pop-psycho babble realm of talk show drama and trauma and hysteria. We are emotional creatures by nature, not nurture. It was how we were born. It is still with us when we die.

We all have emotional triggers esconced in any *CHANGE* scenario, some just like the one the candidate faces. It could be as trivial as a store not carrying the brand any longer or as deep as mid-life transitions crises.

Our task when things start to go south is to skillfully isolate the trigger and disarm it.

Change will trigger ‘memorized’ feelings that the brain uses to control the ‘dance scenario’ by having the candidate sit it out or leave the dance hall altogether.

The heart wants to cha cha cha! The heart wants to tango, mambo, or any dance (even non-latin ones…are there any that are fun?????)

The brain wants predictability. It is a memory storage and retrieval device by design. And that is why we have the ‘heart’…to stretch the brain muscle.

Having established a back-of-the-cereal box psychological model, let’s put together a series of probing questions that might pre-sage us offering the entre of suggested strategies that are in the same pattern of those you offer in your article.

Suppose we start with a question that is open ended….
such as ‘What happened?’ And then listen. They will tell us what happened if they know we are listening. And they might tell us more if we can gently intersperse their exact key words back to them as we listen….no projections, no interpretations, or the ever lethal ’so, what you are saying is…’ and then tell them what we think they are saying…..nope! Just listening. Just letting them know that how they see it stands on its own in their own words.

Is there a question behind the absolute statements they are making? Are you hearing one that isn’t being asked? Can you ask them ‘I heard you say (share back their exact words); if there was a question behind your statement what might it sound like?’

Wait. Give them time. Breathe. No takers, let it go with a ‘So, what else?’ opening the door to more talking.

Then. Take a risk. ‘What angered you about what happened?’ They might actually be angry. Or they might not be. And they will give you an opening by saying ‘Well, I’m not angry.’ So what are they? Ask.

The key is to get them to describe the feeling. Don’t ask ‘So how are you feeling?’ Ask if they are not angry, what are they? If they are angry, they will tell you. Give it a wide field. No matter what the feeling. Let the feeling come up and out.

Remember, they are resisting a change. Change suggests *PAIN*. The feeling that is coming up in this part of the conversation is shielding that pain field from any kind of exploration. Let them talk about it. Let them pick the shield of their choosing.

When they have explained it and you have reflected back to them casually, using some of the key words they used (and phrases) to let them know you heard them, ask another question……

‘What hurts about this?’ or similar variations such as, ‘Why is *THE EMOTION THEY EXPLAINED* that important for you to notice that?’

And let them talk. Don’t ask for clarifications and lots of details. Let them talk. Keep reflecting back the key words and phrases every so often. They will say more.

When it quiets down: ‘WHAT’s FAMILIAR ABOUT THIS?’

Now you can walk them right into the past where they have responded in similar fashion before to Change scenarios.

They will tell you if they believe you are listening. Keep up a respectful key word/phrase reflection to them. Encourage them with this action NOT an encouraging command to keep talking.

Once they tell you what’s familiar, summarize ‘What I heard You say’ using key phrases and words that they used. They might say more. Re-cycle through their key phrases and words again.

When they are finished….ask ‘How did it affect you THEN?’ Use the same active listening process.

Then, ‘How does this affect you NOW?’ Use the same active listening process.

They will see they are moving their past into their present. AND you will be able to interject how the beautiful opportunity to bring about the changes through the emerging offer are here NOW.

The candidate will see the past being superimposed onto the NOW. They will get a glimpse of how they are changing the beautiful NOW by doing an old dance step while saying ‘Yeah, this is what i really want.’ as they betray themselves.

At that moment it is up to us to ask, ‘So what do you think you might need to do right now?’

Now it’s big girl/big boy time. Face the change. The past is filled with things they cannot change. The now is filled with the possibilities to make life like they truly want it.

If they stall on what they think they want to do or what they think they need, you have the suggestions as you outlined in your entree list.

It’s never about the raise, the car, the projects, or the boss moving away……it’s about how WE respond to the prospect of making a CHANGE>

By the way, I didn’t invent this strategy. But I trained in it for 24 months with one of the best trainers ever. It was designed to help people move out of their past frame of reference about race, culture, ethnicity, and values. I have applied it with 3rd graders, nuclear scientists, Jews, Palestinians, homicidal sex offenders, CEOs, and blue state politicians (to name a few cohorts). It works.

Thanks for reading, Howard. You reached me.

Anthony Chavez
http://www.supplychainbrain.com
510-525-0438